Vacant Chapter 9 Love

The words are ringing in my ears I bop you.It occurs to me I may have misheard. Its the only possible explanation.So, youre okay? Dont listen to those girls, Emily. Ill conscionable pretend those ternion little words arent hanging in the air regardless of whether they were actually said.Ethan, did you hear what I exactly said?What do I say? I have no idea how to approach this, so I just stare at her wide-eyed.After a few moments, I happen heating creeping up my thigh and realize its Emilys delve. At first, its an attempt to get my attention, alone as her hand ascends, I realize the intent is not so innocent.We have to go. Its time to go, I say, stilted, ilk rain down Man talking about his Kmart underwear.I bobby pin the steering wheel for dear purport because if I dont, the car and my life will go careening into the abyss. Ive spent all this time convincing myself that Emily and I could never be anything exclusively friends. Knowing that she may feel the same about me a s I feel about her will complicate things, and I suddenly feel trapped.Its so quiet as we drive, that I hear a small plinking that would go unnoticed otherwise, but as I near the duplex, the estimable the car is making increases. I briefly wonder if its because the plink is getting worse or the quiet is just so intense. I make a mental note to find the origin of the plinking before place too many more miles on the car.I should be thinking about the woman sit next to me and her recent declaration instead of small pings, but Im not I rottert.If I do no.I cant think.Im not even sure how I get here, but Im sitting in the middle of my bed, having an argument with myself.Its no surprise that Im winning.She t elder you she loves you.She says she loves to cook. She loves lots of things.Shes in there and youre in here.You really hold to clean the ceiling fan blades.I cant help but roll my eyes at myself.When I finally exit my room, the apartment is dark and quiet. Emily is asleep on th e couch with a tight grip on the blankets. Little does she know shes gripping at my heart the same way.The notebook on the emplacement table catches my eye, and I cant help but snoop. As I near it, I enter there are several wads of paper strewn across the floor discarded because they werent perfect. The top piece, still clinging to life in its spiral bindings, is flawless.Dear Ethan Sitting down to write this, Ive never felt more same(p) a young girl than I do right now. For the past two years, Ive looked at you both day in hopes that someday youd feel for me, what I feel for you. But now I see that we perceive different things regarding our relationship. Maybe it could be classified on my part as hero worship, but Id like to think Im smarter than that. I think I know the difference between infatuation and love.I know there is a difference in our ages, but who cares? My heart has no idea how old your heart is. I just know that if I dont tell you, it will fester inside me, and Ill separate a slow painful death. Ive only ever loved my mom and never really knew what it was like to care for another person until I met you.I didnt fall in love with you that first day, but after many months of learning to appreciate your care and concern, I could see how kind your soul your all in all being is. Thats when I knew another kind of love existed. It isnt the type of love between family members, or a crush, but a true love that is unconditional and lasting, a love that I can no longer hide.I know you probably dont return these feelings, but I couldnt go another act without you knowing. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable, and Ill find another place to live if you feel like we can no longer be friends.Love always,EmilyI tightly clutch the notebook page in my hand.How can she do this to me?Doesnt she know what shes done?No its not right.Not now, and without any further thoughts, Im out the door.